What a crazy week.  Literally crazy.  I was so busy.  So much happened...where do I even start? 


Well, maybe I should start with the observation that the lives of many people I know seem to be struggling, even crumbling down around them, while mine seems to be on an upward path.  It's awkward to talk about with these people...I don't always know what to say because I don't want to sound like I'm gloating or being arrogant.  I've been doing the best I can to give advice when asked and listen when someone needs to talk, but it's also getting a bit exhausting.  I don't know what to do.  


In other news (although with my track record, does it really count as news?), Sicilia's Pizza Boy is not a winner.  I haven't heard from him since the last message I sent, which was definitely mid week.  Why do I even get my hopes up anymore?  Wait, let's go further.  Why are almost all movies, songs and stories about love?  Don't directors, songwriters and authors ever realize that there are people out there who have had enough of these idealized situations? They probably do, and don't care, because love sells.  I'm just sick of it.  It's getting to the point where it physically hurts when things don't work out.  I try so hard, and get trampled in return, and then I feel embarrassed for even thinking that someone would like me back...I mean it's never happened.  Sure people have liked me, but it's never gone anywhere.  I suppose that's my fault too.  


I think I could be satisfied alone...following my dreams.  I might get kind of lonely, but I could just keep traveling and meeting more new people.  I love making new friends from all walks of life, so I could get to the point where I have a lot of friends and don't feel lonely right? I have to believe it's possible.  I even wish I was like Jane Austen.  She never married, and it's only suspected that she was in love once, but she at least wrote her characters the ending that she wished for herself and never got.  At the moment, at least, I'm not even that optimistic. Isn't that sad? I know, I know, I'm just whining.  You probably think I'm pretty annoying by now, but honestly, I'm past the point of caring.  This is my thought-keeper, and I'm going to write what I want.  I spend way too much time caring what other people are going to think about what I write, what I look like, what I wear, what I say...and I'm tired of it.  So this is the one place where I don't care.  I'm going to say what I like, and you can't stop me, and nothing you say will make me feel bad.  


Maybe I have to get to be like Belle...you know from Beauty and the Beast.  "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere...I want it more than I can tell.  And for once it might be grand, to have someone understand...I want so much more than they've got planned."  In a sense I am like her.  I know people don't really believe I'll be really successful at Disney, even if they don't come out and say it.  Sure, it's a long shot.  But I've got dreams, and I know that I'll make it.  It's where I belong, at least that's what I feel right now.  Despite the fact that it's in a place where only one season prevails, and I will miss the fall and winter, and it's far away from my family...it's the one place in the world where I felt so happy.  I was making magic for people, and so many people I worked with got it.  What's it? Well, it is...it.  You either get it or you don't.  And it's not something I can describe.  I guess the best I can do is say you know when you're really passionate about the way something should be done, or a life philosophy or something, and no one really gets your point of view, and then you meet someone who says what you're thinking before you can say it yourself? That's it.  They get it.  It is sort of like a Japanese character...there are some that can't be translated into English.  That's it.  


Alright, dear Void.  I need to talk to one of my best friends, who, coincidentally, has guys throwing themselves at her.  Awesome.


Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a day that I could give you
I’d give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
I’d sing a song to make you feel this way

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I’d tell a tale sure to make you smile
If I had a wish that I could wish for you
I’d make a wish for sunshine all the while

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
Sunshine almost all the time makes me high
Sunshine almost always