Notes on Love

So, it's been a while.  Sorry.  I had midterms and papers...come to think of it, I still have a paper to write that's due tomorrow night at midnight. Oops.  I know it will get done though.  So I'm not worried.  I'm very rarely worried about getting things done on time.  I've never really had a problem with it.  But, at the same time, that's a weakness as much as it is a strength.  Overconfidence can be misleading.

So here's my secret for the moment.  All I want to do, all I can think about recently, is how much I want to go on a date.  It's been so long...what if I've forgotten how?  Why am I apparently inept at attracting the opposite sex? Am I that repulsive?  I don't understand.  Just one date. One to reaffirm my belief that I will not grow up to be an old maid.  Please.

Is it possible to love too easily?  Should love have to be earned?  It's a tough question.  I know there are many topics in pop culture that address the issue, but nothing actually solves it.  Perhaps it's a personal decision.  My whole life I've loved without explanation, without reservation, almost everyone I've been acquainted with.  It's a startling fact to realize.  How could I hold so much love in my heart to give to everyone?  Is this the reason why I can't seem to find the one person I should give my whole heart to?  Because I've already given it away to everyone else?  If that is the case, is it considered selfish to want my heart back?  Or is it possible to somehow love all, and still give my heart to the One?  I hope that's the case, because the existence of one without the other would break my heart...and then no one is loved.